Damage Control

Silently weeping under the covers of the quilt,
Desperately Wishing To fall asleep quickly
Endlessly thoughts running through my head
Wondering when dawn would break?

Hopes crushed, false promises yet again broken
Pain caused and silences the night
While lights dim low
and i turn my face towards the paneled wall
Hoping for a better day tomorrow...

This moment is painful
All I long for is to sleep the night away
Doubts, Unrational decisions and anger did break loose
And things will never be the same again!!!

What may be said now is forgotten the next day
Un kept words that hope placed trust upon
Just as the rain washes away the muddy paths
So does time when all is in haste...

I doubt this all makes sense right now,
Happiness is impermanent And I cannot control
Neither mine nor yours
As moments hold a higher place~

"Sometimes fate is like a sandstorm that keeps changing direction"

You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play it out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn.?Why? Because this storm isn't sometime that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you.!This storm is you, something inside you. So all you can do is give into it, step right inside the storm,?closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun, moon, direction, sense of time there. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones...
(Kafka on the Shore,4)

Tarayana Fair: 4-6th May

Face painting done by a Volunteer (yeshey Nidup)

Yeshey, Kinley and Ashim Yiwang

With my Sister Yiwang

#2 Win at Car Race

With Yeshey Lhaden

The Sounds of a Meloncholic Raindrop

With each heavy rain drop the clouds got lighter
The roof danced in happiness along with the black out!
So silently i sat there embracing the splashing sound:
The sound of the rain filling the drains
And slowly overflowing onto the pavement...

My pillow was the only comfort outside this darkness
Clearing more doubts in a night than in days
But the Heavier it poured,
the colder the heart got and I stopped believing in miracles too...

Citizens camped outside lost everything today
The endless downpour needs to stop now!
As poverty stricken families rushed towards a safe shelter,
Warmth, security, happiness was all they prayed for:
However, my shadow still refused to be moved in sync with my echo...

Contemplating a tough decision while inhaling much of the air left
I wanted to help somebody...anybody tonight
But the rain continued to fall heavier and got louder with the hour
And I felt trapped in my own abode
While far away across the mountain a faint cry of 'help' was all I heard...

The Rain brought back the light to the mountain slowly
Unable to see I became restless
The sounds echoing in my head like a waterfall at the end of a cliff
I chose to take the higher road
A road that led me to believe I was happier here at this place...
For now at least.

But a wise person once told me:
Happiness is merely contemporary and I was solely responsible for my own.
He didn't promise to make me happy
Rather he would give me his best if he had the choice.
So with a slightly sombre expression,
He slowly closed my eyes to sleep...

Echoing the cries of Nanking

They say that life is meant to be lived, not watched and that one can never tell how one's story will unfold... So today, I watched this movie called "Flower of War" and I was deeply overwhelmed by emotions that took over while watching it. It was recommended by Yeshey Lhaden and I'm glad I watched it on a cold rainy day as emotions doubled along with the coldness outside. So after i watched the movie i was motivated to do some writing and this is one of them:

"The men came from the East where the Sun rises everyday,
Carrying along Pain everywhere they went.
Murder, Rape and Killing was all they did
As they moved in uniform from door to door.

Gone away were their lives
Along with the only little innocence they carried
Tucked away in the small pockets
of their pants tainted with blood.

Their cries and plea for compassion overlooked
As stray bullets pierce the delicate skins of those running to Safety,
Little did they believe in God hereafter,
As Mothers, Fathers, Sister's and Brothers died right before their eyes.

Their humility stripped away as heartless men tore off their clothes,
Naked and unclothed they remain,
and with every touch the more they seem to suffer
they wished for nothing more but a painless death.

And at the end all they did was pray for better lives,
for those left behind and for those soon to be exploited
by War and emotions and as painful as it is,
Nothing will ever remain the same after this day..."

So as tragic as it sounds, it was definitely a moving movie that kept me melancholic throughout making me emphathetic to their experiences. Even though i will never know how they felt, as least i know of their stories now and how the people of Nanking suffered under the Japanese conquest during the war that took place between the Chinese province and the Japanese army. Some were brave enough to fight for their country, while some were heroic and sacrificed their lives on account to save a few others of their kind.

However, Today I pray that no one has to ever experience such tragedies in their lifetime or the next but rather happiness, success, love, and good health follow everyone around in a well deserved continuous path by doing good for others above thy self.

Occupied

The Hope that rises
is always destroyed by the creator...
A strong force of determination
which cannot be deferred
and yet:
The machines have taken over
Taken over:
Your life and indirectly mine as well...

Light at the end of a Tunnel

Today I'm completely broken...

Inside I'm mentally exhausted and all energy drained out... Misunderstood and rejected! Left to fend for myself, and
Myself only. The ones I thought I had faith in only end up as disappointment, and it is only my shadow and I sharing alliance in standing tall above the rest!

Like a wilting rose I slowly bend towards a direction but the morning sun refuses to hide behind the clouds even when the rain continues to pour... Beaming with much anticipation I'm lifted in spirit but it doesn't last long! The feeling of impermanence and letting go was all I could wait for as it slowly disappeared behind a huge patch of dark clouds...

Am I alone? Or is my shadow still with me? At least, I haven't lost my identity nor fell through the cracks of the ground like the rest. No wonder I was born on a brighter, early, dew drop morning, with birds chirping, and flowers slowly opening up their buds... It was a morning more beautiful than the rest of the days that were ever seen!