Moonlight Beams

Had a dream last night about this place
a wide paved road leading up to a hill
silhouettes of trees often mistaken for shapes
with the bright moon beams glistening...

I found myself walking outside
along the road until it led to a dead end
the cold didn't seem to bother me nor my bare hands
for I knew I wasn't alone
even if I was talking to the moon...

Few lights across the mountain brightly lit
I looked up to the sky to see Orion's belt and the Pleiades star cluster
I stared up into the sky for a long time
However, I didn't end up seeing the shooting star!

Every bright moon has a dark side
Just as my skeleton came out from the hideout
I chose one particular heart to enclose it
For I too will be the keeper of your sagas...

They say that when you mess with love
You mess with the truth
This sudden explosion to chase shadows at night
through the starry eyes of comfort
Brought immense beauty to the moon beams...

Therefore, I chose to live in the moment of this lucid dream.

Denying Truth

A strong wind swallowed us up in the air
swirling high, feet above the ground
I try to reach out to you but I was numb
All I could feel was the sudden climb...

As I opened my eyes
to a blurry silhouette
staring straight at me
A dark 2 am it was
I hid under the blanket

Lights switched on
Everything about me was shiver
Sweaty palms and feet
I was afraid to close my eyes

Vivid images from words
I look beside me for comfort
everything was still and unmoved
Tears swell, heart was pacing
I breathe for air

"It's all in the mind, there is no one, easy"
He said to me as if he knew it
I couldn't close my eyes
So waited for minutes to pass by
For dawn would break eventually
And then everything would be okay...

There is a truth to it:
"When we sleep we let lose our souls to wander"
We are incapable of this very control
over our minds and our body
lifeless we remain
to the truth beyond us...

Day 1 : 6 kgs to 55

Well I'm back to cutting and eating clean at the gym with 5 days weight training which includes cardio and ab workout. As of recently, I started craving clean, have chosen a healthier diet, and set a goal for myself so that by 2014 I'll be the fittest I've ever been in my life. I've started to envision a stronger, healthier and happier version of myself. I'm on a mission to prove that one can get fit without taking steroids, unnecessary medicines but rather just straight clean eating, exercise and having the right mind.

To begin with, I've always had a problem with my weight. I remember at one give point I was even 75kgs back in High School and I have pictures to prove this. Then as I started to finish high school and go to college I started exploring eating good food with the wide range of varieties that were available in the local super markets in Vancouver.

But my journey to fitness didn't start until until I enrolled myself to the Gym seriously earlier this year in February with a personal trainer. I've seen tremendous results of what the gym and a trainer can do once you set your mind to it. I was 68 kgs while starting or even a few kgs plus and the last few months I've dropped to 61 kgs and have been floating around that weight since then. I was eating food that left me bloated, guilty most of the time that I often ended up regretting what I ate. The more I explored food, the more I knew about their benefits and I started to eat less processed foods and giving my body what it had missed.

So, I have decided to finally get off that stationary weight and drop down 5 kgs by the time I get married in November 2013 which is almost 1 month and 24 days (55 days) left.

My routine starts with cutting off junk food, snacks, biscuits (which I love) and by focusing more on fresh fruits, green vegetables, chicken breasts, tuna, and healthy nuts (almond, cashew).

In the morning around 6:30am I take a one hour walk on empty stomach and at 7:30am I take my first dose of Protein Shake (Cookies and Creme by Muscle Pharm) and head to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

My breakfast usually comprises of either oats with 2 egg whites and 1 yolk with a glass of fresh juice. This I take 2 hours after my protein shake so around 9:30-10:00 am. After Breakfast I take my omega-3 and Multivitamin. If i'm not eating oats I usually eat 2 pieces of toasts or a small cup of rice.

Then between breakfast and lunch I have a healthy snack on the go which is either cucumbers or a fruit.

For Lunch, I make sure I eat 100gms of meat and vegetables either cooked in olive oil or is boiled.

Then at around 3pm I either eat a Banana or a cup of yoghurt.

At 4pm I head to the gym to work out on weights, abs and 1 hours of cardio. The workout is finished with my second dose of protein shake at 6pm along with Vit.C and Calcium.

Then around 8pm I eat another 100gms of meat and vegetable or salad or dinner.

By 10pm I am already tired and in need of some deserving sleep.

So, this routine I follow for the next few weeks with allowing myself a cheat meal every 2 weeks and drinking lots of water throughout the day.

In the beginning I found my eating habits to be very difficult with minimum choices and not much of a variety to begin with but I did some research and started exploring other people's recipes for creativity and ideas. Since then, cooking has been fun and I've learnt not to associate food with guilt. Bottom line: I've learnt that in order to achieve desired results one must work hard. That I've found to be the key to happiness and self acceptance through that

So here's the beginning to 6 kgs to 55...