Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Waiting For Romeo~

One of the most famous lines that struck me today was from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II where Juliet is bidding goodnight to Romeo. She says:

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow..."


 In the real world, Juliet found herself saying goodbye and not knowing when she will see her Romeo again. Even though his depart was a sweet sorrow, she was clueless when her morrow might be. She was afraid her morrow will never come again. Oh how she desperately wanted to see Romeo again but she knew it was not possible for a long time. Romeo was gone afar and this time she couldn't really stop him from leaving.

Juliet knew deep down in her heart why he left and she let him go slowly knowing he would return to her one fine day. She felt heavy hearted and something inside her was missing when he left. He was always what kept her heart beating anxiously and waiting for news of his arrival is all what she was anticipating for.

This time she knew it was true. She didn't mind this time seriously! Somehow she wanted to be this person always and maybe this was who she was all this while. She was stronger and made more difference around her and he was always supportive of her efforts. He had a big heart as well and somehow that's what made him beautiful too. Maybe that's why she and him were both beautiful souls waiting like the stars to collide.

Days soon turned into weeks, she was searching for all the memories she could hold on to. Romeo was far away, unreachable by anyone besides his own kind. Juliet was dealing with her own issues in the mean time. She has a lot of house keeping to do and that stressed her every single day waiting, hoping and praying! She wanted to start right this time on a clean slate and she knew it was the best way to start her new life but she had to wait...

If only she had the support from her parents.. She was sorry she fell in love when she wasn't suppose to. She was someone better when she was with him and she knew he was better with her as well. Romeo and Juliet confessed of their love and both of them knew that in the beginning it was merely passion that soon turned into love but later on he realized that he needed her in his life just as much as she would be the one who could bring him happiness.

Everything she needed was in front of her and she knew that she was going to be alright if she believed in her self a bit more but she couldn't ignore the signs that she was getting. The feeling all seemed a different purpose that she didn't want to admit.

Juliet waited a few more days in pain but alas she was relieved to know that she was alright. The pain was suddenly gone and then she began to promise herself that she would never ever go back towards the path she once took that went off-road as the lights were unclear and there was another paved road at the junction. Juliet found herself through this experience and saved herself from herself.

She continues to wait...
Wait for herself
Wait for her Romeo... 

Sunday, 17 September 2017

This Hurt

Like smoke rising from the wet tiles
It slowly began to hit me
with arms wide open
I screamed on the top of my lungs
"It is what it is, It was what it was and It will be what it will be,
So come what may..."

I sat down in the middle of a half empty room
packed boxes and an empty cupboard
faded smell of the fragrances
tears swelled and I couldn't control

The heart sometimes deceives you
leads you on a whole different journey
we are all dealing with our very own demons
But morning will always come.

I've laid down my heart
Initially Loved you more than Love could  have ever known
I wasn't expecting to turn my heart around
Now I'm dizzy and I cant see straight
Even my heart has gone cold...

The road to redemption isn't far
The road to recovery is near
I am definitely stronger than I seem
and this hole in my heart will be...

Will be... but a memory...

Friday, 8 September 2017

Ocean of Tears

Heartache after Heartache
Sleepless nights
I am now numb...

Constantly consumed in lies
reached to the brim
forgive but don't forget!

I can be stupid!
I can sometimes be over foolish too!
I wont allow anyone to get close now...

You made me build walls where there were none
You meant everything to me
But now you're gone...

I cry less each time I get hurt
The pain is only temporary
and I continue to love you less...

You have watched me drown
In my ocean of tears
beneath the lies you placed...

You were everything I needed
But now no more...

I need to protect myself now
Love myself
Make me a priority!

I will miss you
But this hurt will be gone
and I will move on...

erase the scars with the strength
I will find to face~

Monday, 4 September 2017

Beats fast

I was just reminded a few days ago that:
"It's always darkest before the dawn"
And I really thought my dawn was breaking
Until it got even darker.

A flip-side to my pleas to the universe...

The ricochets of a broken pieces
splatter of blood everywhere
only this time...
It's my blood!

When certain things hurt
It hurts so bad,
You saw the proof in the way it hurts
BUT it was all a game!
I'm numb...

The worst in me probably brings out the worse in you
but the best in me wants to trust you again
If only I was enough for you!

I don't react the way you always expect
I am stubborn sometimes too
I saw stars in you
It knocked me down instead...

You thought I was just passing through
for this heart break and misery?
But I still know I am not the only one...

Before I throw it all away
and say all these stupid things
Don't let me let you go
Even though I know this might be the right thing to do...

Monday, 28 August 2017

Broken Doll

Men don't realize when a woman loves them wholeheartedly it's real and true...

I met a man Who was afraid to love
He was just another soul I had the chance to touch
His heart was constantly guarded
He built walls around his heart
He was definitely afraid to love...

He said he had his heart broken many times
But little did he realize that
Every time it broke apart
A bit of him was also leaving himself...

So when he had found himself after the brokenness
He decided to touch many hearts
But this time it was just touch and go
So he wouldn't feel anything...

I happened to touch the magic dust upon arrival
And it gave me pleasure which turned to hurt as days went by
There was no cure in itself
As the only remedy was to repel the magic...

I couldn't understand why he touched me
Or why he reached out to me first?
Initially he thought I'd be like the rest
Easily giving into the magic tricks
Much later into the season did he realize that I wasn't like the rest...

Was it too late by then to show his sincerity?
Feelings of doubt and trust questioned me every single day,
All in all my love was simple and  pure
The confessions of an honest love
With big plans made for two
Only to later find out:
Feelings are as easily washed away into the vast blue ocean
As it is to be washed ashore like the smallest particle of sand... 

What has my life come to anymore?
Why do I let these things bother me?
When do I say it's enough?
Who is responsible but myself for these feelings?
How can I make it disappear before I can't do it anymore?
Questions that have no answers... 

Forever unanswered... 

Live and Let Go!!!

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Now what?



How often do we feel feelings that we have no explanations for?
Thoughts running wild in my head
Sometimes I can't even get a peaceful sleep at night…

There are so many places I just want to drift away
I even thought of running away from these tiny hiccups
And the regular faces…

But I chose to be stronger and face this chaos
Stand up for what I believe in
Even if it meant I’d lose a few people…

I long to take risks and go on adventures
No regrets, only a meaningful life to live
Serve with humility and carry forth the compassion…

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Love without Borders~

Why does this somehow feel like a melancholic ending to an unfinished story?

Everytime we exchanged glances you had my heart skip a beat... 
I was so happy in this moment knowing I was yours...
I knew you for you but there was something inside telling me that this moment wasn't going to be ours forever...

I wanted to cry, 
I cried,
All of my feelings inside twisted but somehow I was silenced with no words to share out loud
The thoughts and words all choked up...

I convinced myself that I would try to be happy
That I would try to live in the moment keeping myself busy with life 
But it seems that no matter even if I try or don't try
It hurts each and everytime abit more...

I loved genuinely from the depth of my heart and whether the love was reciprocated equally
I was always confused..

I threw in some hints of what I knew to be true and I was shown the same as well
I wanted to believe everything in front of my eyes
But was I so blinded by selfishness?

I loved too much to even let anything matter...