Thursday, 8 February 2018
Wednesday, 24 January 2018
When it all makes sense
All senses fall apart
When the heart loves wholeheartedly
The love falls half apart
When trust is gained
All that is gained falls apart
When words leaned upon by strangers
Seems to weigh heavier than your own
Straight path lost in diversions
Emotions like a headless chicken
All breaks loose
All falls apart...
Monday, 1 January 2018
I will try to make the most of my time with my family and my close friends. I will pick quality over quantity and prioritize my relationships with everyone of them. I will not let them dictate my life and choose my path for me. I will be patient with them and I will remember their birthdays/anniversaries every year whether their gesture is reciprocated or not. I will not have any expectations and be grateful for every small act of kindness shown to me. I will take care of my mother, call her often and visit her frequently too. I will not complain nor get angry at any given situation. I will avoid any confrontation with anyone and cut out all toxic/unhealthy relationships.
I will focus on being the best I've ever been and the most fittest I've ever looked. I will work on myself everyday and try to be better and learn more about myself as the weeks and months go by. I will try and stop every once in a while and remind myself to slow down and love myself time to time as well. I will try and wake up early mornings and embrace nature by going on walks often. I will be open to hiking and visiting new places every month and capture those beautiful moments.
At work, I will always be sincere and work with integrity. I will work hard and reap the benefits of my labour at the end of every month and be proud of what I have achieved. I will be productive and do some research to learn something new everyday. I will open my mind to the endless opportunities and explore avenues of learning. I will not complain when I have no work but instead I will use my time meaningfully to be proactive and productive in and outside my work sphere. I will try and read at least one book a month and reflect on it after I've read it.
I will continue to be kind and compassionate and help those who need to be helped but not letting them take advantage of my goodwill. I will have boundaries and also remind myself when I do no have enough myself that I can't help everyone around me whenever I can.
Wednesday, 13 December 2017
One minute you are on cloud nine
And the next you're falling straight from it
A steep drop...
How does one even give it a try again?
The ink from the pen written on the blank sheets
Emptiness in words that stay
Felt only through the scar of the etching of the rewritten pages
In the beginning I thought I was made for loving you
But my soul just couldn't be re-touched
I searched every corner
And I ended up alone...
My heart honors my intuition
But my soul is not here
I can't change into someone Who I am not
Nor can I pretend to be another person...
Friends lost, new gained
Blind love reckless burning
Regrets slowly fading
But how can one actually forget?
Monday, 4 December 2017
Always leaves a strong impression on me
That emptiness and the hallow feeling
Almost associated with loneliness...
Watching images drift away smaller and smaller
fading into the distance
my heart falls heavy each time you or I leave
yearning until our souls meet next...
The feeling you know so damn sure
And yet the heart is in complete denial
Why does this hurt ten times bad?
Why does this seem too hard to deal?
Why does this heart keep hoping?
If this love is pain
Well lets hurt tonight...
I'm suppose to be able to sleep With or without you
But this sleep is far drifted into the horizon
And I'm here wide awake
With all these thoughts running around without any goal...
Scar tissues unable to dispose
Skeletons out of the closet
Forgive and never forget
Decisions and enough with issues already!
Tuesday, 31 October 2017
"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow..."
In the real world, Juliet found herself saying goodbye and not knowing when she will see her Romeo again. Even though his depart was a sweet sorrow, she was clueless when her morrow might be. She was afraid her morrow will never come again. Oh how she desperately wanted to see Romeo again but she knew it was not possible for a long time. Romeo was gone afar and this time she couldn't really stop him from leaving.
Juliet knew deep down in her heart why he left and she let him go slowly knowing he would return to her one fine day. She felt heavy hearted and something inside her was missing when he left. He was always what kept her heart beating anxiously and waiting for news of his arrival is all what she was anticipating for.
This time she knew it was true. She didn't mind this time seriously! Somehow she wanted to be this person always and maybe this was who she was all this while. She was stronger and made more difference around her and he was always supportive of her efforts. He had a big heart as well and somehow that's what made him beautiful too. Maybe that's why she and him were both beautiful souls waiting like the stars to collide.
Days soon turned into weeks, she was searching for all the memories she could hold on to. Romeo was far away, unreachable by anyone besides his own kind. Juliet was dealing with her own issues in the mean time. She has a lot of house keeping to do and that stressed her every single day waiting, hoping and praying! She wanted to start right this time on a clean slate and she knew it was the best way to start her new life but she had to wait...
If only she had the support from her parents.. She was sorry she fell in love when she wasn't suppose to. She was someone better when she was with him and she knew he was better with her as well. Romeo and Juliet confessed of their love and both of them knew that in the beginning it was merely passion that soon turned into love but later on he realized that he needed her in his life just as much as she would be the one who could bring him happiness.
Everything she needed was in front of her and she knew that she was going to be alright if she believed in her self a bit more but she couldn't ignore the signs that she was getting. The feeling all seemed a different purpose that she didn't want to admit.
Juliet waited a few more days in pain but alas she was relieved to know that she was alright. The pain was suddenly gone and then she began to promise herself that she would never ever go back towards the path she once took that went off-road as the lights were unclear and there was another paved road at the junction. Juliet found herself through this experience and saved herself from herself.
She continues to wait...
Wait for herself
Wait for her Romeo...
Sunday, 17 September 2017
It slowly began to hit me
with arms wide open
I screamed on the top of my lungs
"It is what it is, It was what it was and It will be what it will be,
So come what may..."
I sat down in the middle of a half empty room
packed boxes and an empty cupboard
faded smell of the fragrances
tears swelled and I couldn't control
The heart sometimes deceives you
leads you on a whole different journey
we are all dealing with our very own demons
But morning will always come.
I've laid down my heart
Initially Loved you more than Love could have ever known
I wasn't expecting to turn my heart around
Now I'm dizzy and I cant see straight
Even my heart has gone cold...
The road to redemption isn't far
The road to recovery is near
I am definitely stronger than I seem
and this hole in my heart will be...
Will be... but a memory...