Sunday, 20 May 2018

Love Conquers All

You gave me meaning
I don't always have the right words to say
All this searching and you're the best thing that I've found
I know you're here to stay...

You let me say all the stupid things I say
I know I make mistakes and Let you down
You stretched out your arms and held me tight
Loved me more than I ever knew...

We may not be perfect and trust me no one is
We may get jealous and insecure
We may bleed love more than we know
But we are both here to stay now...

We learn from our mistakes
We may fall many times but we always try
"Love conquers all"
And we know to pick ourselves up every time...

Thursday, 8 March 2018

The Mysterious Heart

I count the ways you let you down 
and I'm losing track on the numbers now 
Your clever words can't help you anymore
I am lost and disgusted
I tried to keep you close but you're slipping out...
When did the Rain suddenly become a Storm? 
Even you can't stand whats happening with us
We could have had it all
but the blame was always on me
and we strayed off course...
Holding back won't turn back time
Believe me, I've tried
even if I could turn back time, 
You'd still be the same
with your secrets and lies
running like a dog 
making me fight like a bitch too much...
You never believed in me and we fell apart
Soon you'll just be somebody that I use to know  
I was so happy after so long
I should have known it was all momentary
Our ship's gone down too soon
So I drowned myself before it could drown me...
They say it's always darkest before the light
And that's enough for me to try
I know I loved you
And I still do but now it's whatever you want
Your freedom and Peace of Mind 
for your Happiness I will walk away...
Even if I say that it's over now
Even if we want to move on somehow
Even if I wanted to walk away
I know it will be without any regrets
I was never good enough for you...
Whoever said that love was sweet 
drank a little too much whiskey
All the fairy tales bullshit me
I wouldn't change a thing about myself
'Cause from today self love starts...

Monday, 5 March 2018

Love is Pain

I have driven this road too many times
That even the curves and the bends are familiar with me.
The same feeling each and every time;
I'm way too good at convincing myself
that each time the road will be a different one...

Taking a leap of faith and unsure
if I am following my instincts;
or just going along with my heart without using my brain,
that usually seems to be the case
or it is my anger which drives us away?...

When two people fall in love
Its always one person loving the other more,
I knew only of the abusive love I was feeling.
Instead of seeing who I was as a person
And believing in myself more
I was stuck in limbo...

I believe in Fate, I believe in Destiny
Maybe we loved deeply in another life
that we found ourselves here now,
I want to grow with the decision but
Confused how to Love...

I Trust Myself
I Trust my Path and
I Trust my Intuition.
It's You that don't Trust me
Nor the Path we set out for ourselves...
Maybe I felt you more than life usually allows of me,
I don't know.
Maybe I never fixed what was broken inside of me,
I don't know.
I am not perfect, neither are you!
But I know I have it inside of me to Love...

Thursday, 8 February 2018

Phuket Diaries: Day 1

1st Feb 2018 started with a 3:30 am flight from Don Mueang Airport to Phuket and we were all on the plane like we were drunk, especially me because I fell asleep as soon as I sat on my seat and woke up when the plane landed. I felt nothing nor did I hear anything during the entire flight. 

 Got a taxi for 800 baht to Patong which was about a 40 minute ride from the airport. Luckily no traffic so we made it to the hotel in a jiffy(Surprisingly there were no multi-colored cabs like we see in bangkok here in Phuket except the limos/reserved ones or the red open back type jeepneys blasting latest chart toppers which are hiked up pricey depending on your thai speaking skills)...

We booked out hotel on Agoda and since we all had no idea about Phukhet, we were glad we booked Patong because it happened to be the happening scene of Phuket with beach, night life and great choice of restaurants. We arrived at about 6am at a small reception of the Paton Bay Residence Hotel located right by the entrance and even though we had early check in on our agoda settings, they were slightly hesitant on handing out our room keys but seeing our half awake faces she were empathetic. The rooms were ready and we got the keys and off we hit the beds right away. No such scenery from the window but a lot of construction adjacent to our rooms on the 4th floor. That morning we weren't bothered by the noise of the drilling at the site as fatigue came in sooner than we imagined. We all slept till noon and decided to freshen up and head out for lunch.
We came by a restaurant PS2 by a connected resort and had some Thai Food and made out way to the Beach. On the way to the beach we decided to book a tour for the next day to the islands. we chose Phi Phi Islands from a local tour operator called Top 10 and paid 1300 Baht per person to visit Phi Phi Islands+May Bay and Green Islands via Speed Boat starting at 8am inclusive of Lunch and return back in the evening with Hotel pick up and drop off. We are not sure if we were ripped off on the price but we saw on the brochure that it cost about 3000 Baht per person and we managed to get a good deal for1300 baht. (Not sure if it was a good deal or not as we forgot to ask the other passengers on the boat regarding their fare per person that day)...

Then we headed towards Patong beach. A nice place to walk around under the trees and the guys took a dip into the sea while I took refuge under a palm tree watching them gleefully swim in the salty waters under the scorching sun along with a few hundred other people on the beach as well. 
I slipped away from the hot sand under my feet in search for  bottle of water to drink but instead found myself walking towards a blue ice cream lorry playing a creepy tune (the ones that play in the movies and a clown is selling the ice cream) attracting people on the beach as it moved along slowly up and down the beach pathway. I had a plain choco bar and it sure tasted good after a really really really long time. 

The boys took a dip twice in the sea before calling it quits for the day as the excitement meter was slightly falling due to the hot sun and the salt in the water I guess. I was dressed in pants and hadn't come ready to jump into the sea like them so was left along the sands people watching and getting amazed at people and society...

The beach was mostly filled with foreigners (I could identify a lot of Russian speaking tourists and Chinese tourists). I didn’t expect a lot of Russians to be visiting Phuket so did a slight homework research and found out that a lot of Russians have settled here in Phuket and Pattaya after the Soviet Union with settled businesses and illegal operations running in the market. It is said that Russian mafia runs alot of the businesses here from restaurants, cafes, hotels to night clubs. Bangkok post reported that Russians are involved here in Phuket with gambling, casino, money laundering, buying national forests, luxury houses and real estates, and paying off corrupt government officials and police individuals. The gang that is prevalent here is called "Spachiba"...

Then we walked back to the hotel and rested a bit till it was time for dinner. We walked down the streets of Patong and came across a mall called JUNGCEYLON and found a huge range of food options. We all love some good food after a long day of travel and sun so we chose korean and had some bibimbap. Not the best korean food we had but it was alright for Patong standards. after meal we caught a local taxi and headed back to the hotel to rest our aching feet.        

Wednesday, 24 January 2018

All Falls Apart

When it all makes sense
All senses fall apart

When the heart loves wholeheartedly
The love falls half apart

When trust is gained
All that is gained falls apart

When words leaned upon by strangers
Seems to weigh heavier than your own

Straight path lost in diversions
Emotions like a headless chicken
All breaks loose
All falls apart...

Monday, 1 January 2018

2018 Resolutions~

This year 2018:

I will try to make the most of my time with my family and my close friends. I will pick quality over quantity and prioritize my relationships with everyone of them. I will not let them dictate my life and choose my path for me. I will be patient with them and I will remember their birthdays/anniversaries every year whether their gesture is reciprocated or not. I will not have any expectations and be grateful for every small act of kindness shown to me. I will take care of my mother, call her often and visit her frequently too. I will not complain nor get angry at any given situation. I will avoid any confrontation with anyone and cut out all toxic/unhealthy relationships.

I will focus on being the best I've ever been and the most fittest I've ever looked. I will work on myself everyday and try to be better and learn more about myself as the weeks and months go by. I will try and stop every once in a while and remind myself to slow down and love myself time to time as well. I will try and wake up early mornings and embrace nature by going on walks often. I will be open to hiking and visiting new places every month and capture those beautiful moments.

At work, I will always be sincere and work with integrity.  I will work hard and reap the benefits of my labour at the end of every month and be proud of what I have achieved. I will  be productive and do some research to learn something new everyday. I will open my mind to the endless opportunities and explore avenues of learning. I will not complain when I have no work but instead I will use my time meaningfully to be proactive and productive in and outside my work sphere. I will try and read at least one book a month and reflect on it after I've read it.

I will continue to be kind and compassionate and help those who need to be helped but not letting them take advantage of my goodwill. I will have boundaries and also remind myself when I do no have enough myself that I can't help everyone around me whenever I can.

Wednesday, 13 December 2017


People and feelings are both weird
One minute you are on cloud nine
And the next you're falling straight from it
A steep drop...

How does one even give it a try again?
The ink from the pen written on the blank sheets
Emptiness in words that stay
Felt only through the scar of the etching of the rewritten pages

In the beginning I thought I was made for loving you
But my soul just couldn't be re-touched
I searched every corner
And I ended up alone...

My heart honors my intuition
But my soul is not here
I can't change into someone Who I am not
Nor can I pretend to be another person...

Friends lost, new gained
Blind love reckless burning
Regrets slowly fading
But how can one actually forget?