tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76423718964809616912024-03-14T03:38:06.097-07:00Life as I See it~Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.comBlogger253125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-17646703401419490712023-12-25T23:29:00.000-08:002023-12-25T23:29:05.998-08:00Will the real P please stand up! (Feb 2021-October 2023)<p>What is the use of feeling nostalgia when all I remember is not how hard he loved but rather how I was deceived? Looking back at the thousand pictures still stored on my phone, it all remains a memory. A memory that is soon forgotten due to my clouded memory. I let him step into my world from the beginning and let him experience my life for the last 3 years. I even took the leap of faith and risked by stepping into his world, but nothing turned out well as months went on...</p><p>I trusted you with my life and in the end, it looks like I cannot trust myself to love you anymore. Not only me, but my daughter trusted you as well. She looked up to you as a father figure when she had none and even called you Daddy...</p><p>I looked beyond our imperfections and went forth with us. I accepted the person you were and built upon this new friendship embracing what was yet to come but little did I know that it would be just a few years of knowing people for who they are. We accompanied each other for the last few months through all that we went through and managed to stay strong, yet we broke each other in the process. The red flags in the beginning should have taught me to be cautious of you but the voice inside of me chose to forgive you and carry on the hurt in silence. That was my despair, and you were not there with me to fight this feeling together to make me regain the trust that I had lost in the process. We wanted a love that will never dilute even when the waters get deep and dark. </p><p>When I love, I love so hard and that is my weakness not just with you but with everyone I chose to accept into my life. You helped me conclude my instincts that people never change and that I should not try to change anyone to fit into my life. You added something to my life over the last two and half years, and even though we were not meant to stay together for longer than our time together I chose to let go. I grew to be comfortable in your comfort and I grew to be understanding of the lies you fed me when really, I thought that this was really us going forward. </p><p>I hope the times you walked alongside me and the memories we created will live on through the vivid moments we had and even though friendships eventually die, I hope the friendship I made with the SG I knew back then in 2021 will be a reminder to you because reality was what brought us down. I cannot change you, only YOU can do that for yourself and not anybody else. All I can do is remind myself constantly and continue to be kind always... </p><p>I don't know what is sadder and heartbreaking than knowing that over time I will slowly forget the little details of you until my memory is hazy, blurry like a dream I once had and cannot remember anymore. I hope you find peace and comfort knowing that you were loved deeply and truly by me when we were together, and I will always wish you well now and always. Learn from the mistakes you made with me and grow and change to be better for your future self, your family, and your children. Don't hurt people if you can avoid it and continue to be a good and kind human being. You're still young as I always tell you and you have your whole life ahead of you so live that well. </p><p>After you read this, I hope you sleep tonight feeling calmer, less stressed, and more loved knowing that you are okay, and that you will be okay. Take care and Don't Worry! I'll be okay too...</p>Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-35714822811513708522023-08-31T21:38:00.001-07:002023-08-31T21:53:47.105-07:00Waiting<p>Why am I waiting for moments like these?</p><p>The pouring rain and the sound of the late-night taxis backing up in my parking. </p><p>Loud music booming from their jukebox,</p><p>And me here like a foolish fool.</p><p>Rushing towards the window pulling the curtains </p><p>Each time, waiting on you!</p><p>How bizarre…</p><p>There are a few people who appreciate you, </p><p>And enjoy your time and take the time to make time for you,</p><p>There are a few people who use you,</p><p>Distress the heart from the mind, </p><p>and take their time to use you for the moment,</p><p>There are a few people who try to love you,</p><p>Genuine or not, they plan to stick by you.</p><p>until it’s time for you or them to make one last mistake,</p><p>And there are a few people who want to know you, </p><p>but they simply cannot even try due to reasons.</p><p>So, they choose to love you in silence from afar…</p><p>I’ve met so many people with so many intentions…</p><p>Sometimes my brain and my heart can’t decide.</p><p>All the plans we made for two.</p><p>And yet here I am wondering...</p><p>Which one of you will actually show up!</p>Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-4254848929584505662023-07-25T22:40:00.005-07:002023-07-25T22:40:49.378-07:00Who are you?<p>Why do I keep seeing you in my dreams?<br />Perhaps that's the safest place for us to meet.<br /><br />Why do you keep appearing in my dreams?<br />where you're constantly looking for me,<br />chasing for that comfort<br />a love that never was...</p><p>Gawa Jinme, a song even in my dreams that stands on repeat.</p><p>What is it that I miss about you so much?<br />Is it all the searching we did for each other?<br />The painful silence and the unknown,</p><p>But I still continue dreaming about you.<br /><br />Why do I keep seeing you in my dreams?<br />Why do my memories seem jumbled?<br />Like pieces of a puzzle from one you, another you, and a new you?</p><p>legend has it that if you appear in my dreams, <br />Is it because you're thinking of me too?</p><p>I close my eyes to continue my dream but then you're gone by then<br />I try to relive it, but the essence of you in it slowly disappears the harder I try,</p><p>And I wait for another day to end.<br />Another night to follow,<br />So I can try to meet you there again...</p><p> </p>Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-78334662630976026022021-03-05T01:33:00.004-08:002023-08-31T21:56:33.250-07:00Once Bitten Twice Shy<div style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">I've had people stab me in the back<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I've had people take advantage of my kindness<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I've had people slap me in the face<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I've had people call me all sorts of derogatory names<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I've had people use me only to get what they want<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">I've had people ruin my reputation to clear theirs...</span></span></h4><h4 style="color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Never had someone head over heels for me<br />
Never had someone confess their love for me<br />
Never had someone call me their one true Love<br />
Never had someone wanting to wait on me forever<br />
Never had someone write me a suicide note<br /><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Never had someone wanting to die for me...</span></span></h4><h4 style="color: black; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">The Kindness in the Heart reflected in the eyes<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">They say that the eyes speak of the truest feelings<br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">And I saw the Kindness in those eyes!</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span><br /></h4>
<br /></div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-5863016147906841042020-02-12T21:23:00.001-08:002023-08-31T21:55:57.253-07:00What is this?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
How can I live knowing that I’ve ruined a life?<br />
Life is not a compensation,<br />
Neither a game to gamble upon it<br />
Life is meant to be lived only once,<br />
Precious as it is pursuing dreams and goals…</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
I don’t know how I can ever forgive and forget<br />knowing that someone’s life is messed up <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">because of me</span>.<br />
They say time heals everything,<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But really does it?<br />
<br />
After two failed marriages and a baby<br />
What did I learn?<br />
<br />Self-Respect?<br />
Self-Worth?<br />
Self-Love?<br />
Self-Understanding?<br />
<br />At this point of my life,<br />
I’ve come to care less of who thinks what of me<br />
And focus more on being a better version of myself<br />
To correct the way forward<br />
To learn to forgive to live and let go…<br />
<br />
<br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-91123120648962457532019-11-08T01:17:00.000-08:002019-11-08T01:17:08.112-08:00My Blue Heart💙<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So sudden the waves come riding<br />
Leaving behind a speck every single tide<br />
If I collected all the specks it left behind<br />
would it be enough to hold and feel everything I want to feel...?<br />
<br />
The teachings of my soul<br />
Little rusty but still intact<br />
It hovers at the call of my name<br />
It wants to seek at every void that cannot be filled...<br />
<br />
This strange pull of love<br />
Drawing in strategically silent<br />
That low vibration of fear<br />
High intensity of passion I seek...<br />
<br />
My heart is my place of worship <br />
I intend to seek refuge here<br />
Knowing my endless faults and accepting the consequences <br />
I took this silent leap of faith again...<br />
<br />
With no hope we meet in our dreams <br />
Where reality is blurred by what seems fiction<br />
The blue sunshine outweighs the grey clouds<br />
And it all started because she smiled... <!--/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/share/clipdata_191108_151615_628.sdoc--></div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-614901083047355822019-08-18T21:07:00.001-07:002019-08-18T22:49:54.173-07:00May we Be<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Why cant we individuals be HAPPY?<br />
We are always trying to live and be in the moment<br />
that we forget everything else around us.<br />
We become ignorant to the fact that even simple loving is pain.<br />
<br />
Someday when we lose everything and everyone we ever cared about<br />
That will be the day we regret the decisions we take now<br />
Not even death can alert us<br />
As it will only be a memory that's soon forgotten...<br />
<br />
We lose the genuineness<br />
And get consumed by what is trending,<br />
An honest gesture of pure love<br />
But only to be questioned a thousand times and over.....<br />
<br />
Where did it all go wrong?<br />
Are we blinded by what we do not see and only hear?<br />
Kindness and Compassion simply for humanity <br />
With empathy that drives our soul in directions...<br />
<br />
May we be the generation that reflects <br />
May we be the generation of do-ers<br />
May we be the generation of self lovers<br />
May we be the generation of givers and<br />
May we be the generation that brings forth change!<br />
<br />
Its too early to lose faith in humanity...<br />
<br />
16.08.19<br />
<!--/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/share/clipdata_190819_100656_866.sdoc--></div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-61623640992313346822018-05-20T21:44:00.001-07:002018-05-20T21:44:04.552-07:00Love Conquers All<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
You gave me meaning<br />
I don't always have the right words to say<br />
All this searching and you're the best thing that I've found <br />
I know you're here to stay...<br />
<br />
You let me say all the stupid things I say<br />
I know I make mistakes and Let you down<br />
You stretched out your arms and held me tight<br />
Loved me more than I ever knew...<br />
<br />
We may not be perfect and trust me no one is<br />
We may get jealous and insecure <br />
We may bleed love more than we know<br />
But we are both here to stay now...<br />
<br />
We learn from our mistakes<br />
We may fall many times but we always try<br />
"Love conquers all" <br />
And we know to pick ourselves up every time...<br />
<br />
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-64821163977224246412018-03-08T03:09:00.000-08:002018-03-08T03:09:10.720-08:00The Mysterious Heart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
<span>I count the ways you let you down</span><span> </span></div>
<div>
<span>and I'm losing track on the numbers</span><span> now </span><span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span>Your clever words can't help you anymore</span></div>
<div>
<span>I am lost and disgusted</span><br /><span>I tried to keep you close but you're slipping out... </span></div>
<div>
<span> </span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span>When did the Rain suddenly become a Storm?</span><span> </span></div>
<div>
<span>Even you can't stand whats happening with us </span></div>
<div>
<span>We could have had it all</span></div>
<div>
<span>but the blame was always on me </span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="48" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 48px;">
<span>and we strayed off course...</span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="48" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 48px;">
<span> </span><span></span><br /><span>Holding back won't turn back time</span><br /><span>Believe me, I've tried</span></div>
<div>
<span>even if I could turn back time, </span></div>
<div>
<span>You'd still be the same</span></div>
<div>
<span>with your secrets and lies </span></div>
<div>
<span>running like a dog</span><span> </span></div>
<div>
<span>making me fight like a bitch too much... </span></div>
<div>
<span> </span></div>
<div>
<span><span><span> You never believed in me and we fell apart</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span><span><span></span>Soon you'll just be somebody that I use to know</span> </span><span> </span></div>
<div>
<span>I was so happy after so long</span></div>
<div>
<span>I should have known it was all momentary </span></div>
<div>
<span></span><span>Our ship's gone down too soon</span></div>
<div>
<span>So I drowned myself before it could drown me...</span></div>
<div>
<span> </span><br /><span>They say it's always darkest before the light</span><br /><span>And that's enough for me to try</span></div>
<div>
<span>I know I loved you </span></div>
<div>
<span>And I still do but now it's w</span><span>hatever you want</span></div>
<div>
<span>Your freedom and Peace of Mind </span></div>
<div>
<span>for your Happiness I will walk away...</span></div>
<div>
<span> </span><span></span></div>
<div class="_Nvn" data-mh="-1">
<span></span><span>Even if I say that it's over now</span><br /><span>Even if we want to move on somehow</span></div>
<div class="_Nvn" data-mh="-1">
<span>Even if I wanted to</span><span> walk away</span></div>
<div class="_Nvn" data-mh="-1">
<span>I know it will be without any regrets</span></div>
<div class="_Nvn" data-mh="-1">
<span>I was never good enough for you...</span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
</div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
</div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
</div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
</div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<span></span><span></span><span></span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<span> </span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<span>Whoever said that love was sweet</span><span> </span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<span>drank a little too much whiskey</span></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="97" data-mhc="1" style="max-height: 97px;">
<span>All the fairy tales bullshit me</span><br /><span></span><span>I wouldn't change a thing about myself</span><br /><span>'Cause from today self love starts...</span><span> </span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-11469195941228456192018-03-05T20:33:00.001-08:002018-03-08T01:35:14.673-08:00Love is Pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have driven this road too many times<br />
That even the curves and the bends are familiar with me.<br />
The same feeling each and every time;<br />
I'm way too good at convincing myself<br />
that each time the road will be a different one...<br />
<br />
Taking a leap of faith and unsure<br />
if I am following my instincts;<br />
or just going along with my heart without using my brain,<br />
that usually seems to be the case <br />
or it is my anger which drives us away?...<br />
<br />
When two people fall in love<br />
Its always one person loving the other more,<br />
I knew only of the abusive love I was feeling.<br />
Instead of seeing who I was as a person<br />
And believing in myself more<br />
I was stuck in limbo...<br />
<br />
<br />
I believe in Fate, I believe in Destiny<br />
Maybe we loved deeply in another life<br />
that we found ourselves here now,<br />
I want to grow with the decision but <br />
Confused how to Love...<br />
<br />
I Trust Myself<br />
I Trust my Path and<br />
I Trust my Intuition. <br />
It's You that don't Trust me<br />
Nor the Path we set out for ourselves...<br />
<br />
Maybe I felt you more than life usually allows of me,<br />
I don't know.<br />
Maybe I never fixed what was broken inside of me,<br />
I don't know.<br />
I am not perfect, neither are you!<br />
But I know I have it inside of me to Love...</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-65573589174198485282018-02-08T23:44:00.002-08:002018-02-25T20:53:07.406-08:00Phuket Diaries: Day 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSbIgGZACxdwkXbMr1ZwVyMQ4svwtSQZ4KpaC8ofuDigr3F-40fuo97njZUTSUtY478xsh4u46zvPBD7PzQ7LcWBNTVI-xnMA2tHWZ2glf4tIeYj80T8HI28WmXpK1V6KRRTq21G5hIo/s1600/20180201_050036.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSbIgGZACxdwkXbMr1ZwVyMQ4svwtSQZ4KpaC8ofuDigr3F-40fuo97njZUTSUtY478xsh4u46zvPBD7PzQ7LcWBNTVI-xnMA2tHWZ2glf4tIeYj80T8HI28WmXpK1V6KRRTq21G5hIo/s320/20180201_050036.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">1st Feb 2018 started with a 3:30 am flight from Don
Mueang Airport to Phuket and we were all on the plane like we were drunk,
especially me because I fell asleep as soon as I sat on my seat and woke up
when the plane landed. I felt nothing nor did I hear anything during the entire
flight. </span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3A8h0zGc1X0a9LS3EfTTA-MERwb-E6smLzWMG8F1ufegi1Gg5nwAjf1YASnHwNS0EsCjPE6awhcUW8EEL5Pf6WPXl8-43Ii8Crvydo4kCMngRXRmmsdd43l2xWvTlHlzu4cGiSx0cGfs/s1600/20180201_051521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3A8h0zGc1X0a9LS3EfTTA-MERwb-E6smLzWMG8F1ufegi1Gg5nwAjf1YASnHwNS0EsCjPE6awhcUW8EEL5Pf6WPXl8-43Ii8Crvydo4kCMngRXRmmsdd43l2xWvTlHlzu4cGiSx0cGfs/s200/20180201_051521.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </span><span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Got a taxi for 800 baht to Patong which was about a
40 minute ride from the airport. Luckily no traffic so we made it to the hotel
in a jiffy(S<i>urprisingly there were no multi-colored cabs like we see in
bangkok here in Phuket except the limos/reserved ones or the red open back type
jeepneys blasting latest chart toppers which are hiked up pricey depending on
your thai speaking skills</i>)...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We booked out hotel on Agoda and since we all had
no idea about Phukhet, we were glad we booked Patong because it happened to be
the happening scene of Phuket with beach, night life and great choice of
restaurants. We arrived at about 6am at a small reception of the Paton Bay
Residence Hotel located right by the entrance and even though we had early
check in on our agoda settings, they were slightly hesitant on handing out our
room keys but seeing our half awake faces she were empathetic. The rooms were
ready and we got the keys and off we hit the beds right away. No such scenery
from the window but a lot of construction adjacent to our rooms on the 4th
floor. That morning we weren't bothered by the noise of the drilling at the
site as fatigue came in sooner than we imagined. We all slept till noon and
decided to freshen up and head out for lunch.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwaGil4cQvO-vnxXxEvs13FgaQmRrC4CFD865XKFbHRrn4uX7swVPQLAUt6KHPGy6MFhp9ryV8XGra-qHfBvfqsx2sIEjPhFAYwi7CbJVwzr5DWYViNDL3rKcwfWlHNitlpZI5BkLyqk4/s1600/20180201_140817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwaGil4cQvO-vnxXxEvs13FgaQmRrC4CFD865XKFbHRrn4uX7swVPQLAUt6KHPGy6MFhp9ryV8XGra-qHfBvfqsx2sIEjPhFAYwi7CbJVwzr5DWYViNDL3rKcwfWlHNitlpZI5BkLyqk4/s200/20180201_140817.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtRvLA7oQtosBWi71kLq6IXQviUK2HWSogpNu0dvOBQtRCd4YfHthsYrsLpBYM1Xcvv6pIWVTDaI1sfZNR1mFmIsHvQhBy5IEQKP18vgl5ZCSKfSs2KL1aJpUPJVryT8vrzOXxgMap2tk/s1600/20180201_152818.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtRvLA7oQtosBWi71kLq6IXQviUK2HWSogpNu0dvOBQtRCd4YfHthsYrsLpBYM1Xcvv6pIWVTDaI1sfZNR1mFmIsHvQhBy5IEQKP18vgl5ZCSKfSs2KL1aJpUPJVryT8vrzOXxgMap2tk/s320/20180201_152818.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We came by a restaurant PS2 by a connected resort and
had some Thai Food and made out way to the Beach. On the way to the beach we
decided to book a tour for the next day to the islands. we chose Phi Phi
Islands from a local tour operator called Top 10 and paid 1300 Baht per person
to visit Phi Phi Islands+May Bay and Green Islands via Speed Boat starting at
8am inclusive of Lunch and return back in the evening with Hotel pick up and
drop off. We are not sure if we were ripped off on the price but we saw on the
brochure that it cost about 3000 Baht per person and we managed to get a good
deal for1300 baht. <i>(Not sure if it was a good deal or not as we forgot to
ask the other passengers on the boat regarding their fare per person that
day)...</i></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then we headed towards Patong beach. A nice place
to walk around under the trees and the guys took a dip into the sea while I
took refuge under a palm tree watching them gleefully swim in the salty waters
under the scorching sun along with a few hundred other people on the beach as
well. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHwTKe1i3o70jPTJekxbq2Qx76TKM1uDqZ2PrY_dpoq61DgRg6COcT0K684zOvTa20vfAvU3Q6L2YBHknt_cA72plObPkAvccqesMb5cfpRAXQOKe-FyCz6tpzIRoSt_yipH9Vt-rjZK0/s1600/20180201_164138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHwTKe1i3o70jPTJekxbq2Qx76TKM1uDqZ2PrY_dpoq61DgRg6COcT0K684zOvTa20vfAvU3Q6L2YBHknt_cA72plObPkAvccqesMb5cfpRAXQOKe-FyCz6tpzIRoSt_yipH9Vt-rjZK0/s320/20180201_164138.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I slipped away from the hot sand under my feet in
search for bottle of water to drink but instead found myself walking
towards a blue ice cream lorry playing a creepy tune <i>(the ones that play in
the movies and a clown is selling the ice cream) </i>attracting people on the
beach<i> </i>as it moved along slowly up and down the beach pathway. I had a
plain choco bar and it sure tasted good after a really really really long
time. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The boys took a dip twice in the sea before calling
it quits for the day as the excitement meter was slightly falling due to the
hot sun and the salt in the water I guess. I was dressed in pants and hadn't
come ready to jump into the sea like them so was left along the sands people
watching and getting amazed at people and society...</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinTX1E3hTXcJYJVp3WJjklZ10wCQ8v3gNs2u2AENxyHekALxgLFdFuzX1MR7TUW7eXGpATVSstH1LL4m3Y3MB8FuZ9LXQaUUCA-0HsQFr5_k6GT9A7TogX8WjW12KegynblpPCqKgEBgk/s1600/20180201_153804.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinTX1E3hTXcJYJVp3WJjklZ10wCQ8v3gNs2u2AENxyHekALxgLFdFuzX1MR7TUW7eXGpATVSstH1LL4m3Y3MB8FuZ9LXQaUUCA-0HsQFr5_k6GT9A7TogX8WjW12KegynblpPCqKgEBgk/s320/20180201_153804.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "" serif "" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The beach was mostly filled with foreigners <i>(I
could identify a lot of Russian speaking tourists and Chinese tourists)</i>. I
didn’t expect a lot of Russians to be visiting Phuket so did a slight homework
research and found out that a lot of Russians have settled here in Phuket and
Pattaya after the Soviet Union with settled businesses and illegal operations
running in the market. It is said that Russian mafia runs alot of the
businesses here from restaurants, cafes, hotels to night clubs. Bangkok post
reported that Russians are involved here in Phuket with gambling, casino, money
laundering, buying national forests, luxury houses and real estates, and paying
off corrupt government officials and police individuals. The gang that is
prevalent here is called "Spachiba"...</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-3DBC_GJxYkTwCr0AwY7gJYQ0m5JWEet6Gm9KgbLvgqZTOU24AdX-IBj65caO4U7j7bKk2uc1QCCtIf5GRPxPhsWdEB1k5WAm4h9LTCvUtPAo0p_IhyspCahYQmUEYlCobVrj9odK_o/s1600/20180201_220347.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-3DBC_GJxYkTwCr0AwY7gJYQ0m5JWEet6Gm9KgbLvgqZTOU24AdX-IBj65caO4U7j7bKk2uc1QCCtIf5GRPxPhsWdEB1k5WAm4h9LTCvUtPAo0p_IhyspCahYQmUEYlCobVrj9odK_o/s400/20180201_220347.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then we walked back to the hotel and rested a bit
till it was time for dinner. We walked down the streets of Patong and came across a mall called JUNGCEYLON and found a huge range of food options. We all love some good food after a long day of travel and sun so we chose korean and had some bibimbap. Not the best korean food we had but it was alright for Patong standards. after meal we caught a local taxi and headed back to the hotel to rest our aching feet. </span></div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-59713964814154117832018-01-24T21:33:00.001-08:002018-01-24T21:33:54.393-08:00All Falls Apart <p dir="ltr">When it all makes sense<br>
All senses fall apart</p>
<p dir="ltr">When the heart loves wholeheartedly<br>
The love falls half apart </p>
<p dir="ltr">When trust is gained<br>
All that is gained falls apart</p>
<p dir="ltr">When words leaned upon by strangers<br>
Seems to weigh heavier than your own</p>
<p dir="ltr">Straight path lost in diversions <br>
Emotions like a headless chicken <br>
All breaks loose<br>
All falls apart...</p>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-15630793511074146462018-01-01T20:28:00.000-08:002018-01-04T21:19:27.979-08:002018 Resolutions~<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: center;">
This year 2018:</div>
<br />
I will try to make the most of my time with my family and my close friends. I will pick quality over quantity and prioritize my relationships with everyone of them. I will not let them dictate my life and choose my path for me. I will be patient with them and I will remember their birthdays/anniversaries every year whether their gesture is reciprocated or not. I will not have any expectations and be grateful for every small act of kindness shown to me. I will take care of my mother, call her often and visit her frequently too. I will not complain nor get angry at any given situation. I will avoid any confrontation with anyone and cut out all toxic/unhealthy relationships.<br />
<br />
I will focus on being the best I've ever been and the most fittest I've ever looked. I will work on myself everyday and try to be better and learn more about myself as the weeks and months go by. I will try and stop every once in a while and remind myself to slow down and love myself time to time as well. I will try and wake up early mornings and embrace nature by going on walks often. I will be open to hiking and visiting new places every month and capture those beautiful moments. <br />
<br />
At work, I will always be sincere and work with integrity. I will work hard and reap the benefits of my labour at the end of every month and be proud of what I have achieved. I will be productive and do some research to learn something new everyday. I will open my mind to the endless opportunities and explore avenues of learning. I will not complain when I have no work but instead I will use my time meaningfully to be proactive and productive in and outside my work sphere. I will try and read at least one book a month and reflect on it after I've read it.<br />
<br />
I will continue to be kind and compassionate and help those who need to be helped but not letting them take advantage of my goodwill. I will have boundaries and also remind myself when I do no have enough myself that I can't help everyone around me whenever I can. </div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-31997717092942586292017-12-13T02:10:00.000-08:002017-12-13T02:38:47.886-08:00Borderline~<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
People and feelings are both weird<br />
One minute you are on cloud nine<br />
And the next you're falling straight from it<br />
A steep drop...<br />
<br />
How does one even give it a try again?<br />
The ink from the pen written on the blank sheets<br />
Emptiness in words that stay<br />
Felt only through the scar of the etching of the rewritten pages<br />
<br />
In the beginning I thought I was made for loving you<br />
But my soul just couldn't be re-touched<br />
I searched every corner <br />
And I ended up alone...<br />
<br />
My heart honors my intuition<br />
But my soul is not here<br />
I can't change into someone Who I am not<br />
Nor can I pretend to be another person...<br />
<br />
Friends lost, new gained<br />
Blind love reckless burning<br />
Regrets slowly fading <br />
But how can one actually forget?</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-33808103697345516182017-12-04T02:03:00.000-08:002017-12-04T02:03:54.599-08:00Emptiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The feelings associated with departure<br />
Always leaves a strong impression on me<br />
That emptiness and the hallow feeling<br />
Almost associated with loneliness...<br />
<br />
Watching images drift away smaller and smaller<br />
fading into the distance<br />
my heart falls heavy each time you or I leave<br />
yearning until our souls meet next...<br />
<br />
The feeling you know so damn sure<br />
And yet the heart is in complete denial<br />
<br />
Why does this hurt ten times bad?<br />
Why does this seem too hard to deal?<br />
Why does this heart keep hoping?<br />
Why...?<br />
<br />
If this love is pain<br />
Well lets hurt tonight...<br />
<br />
I'm suppose to be able to sleep With or without you <br />
But this sleep is far drifted into the horizon<br />
And I'm here wide awake <br />
With all these thoughts running around without any goal...<br />
<br />
Scar tissues unable to dispose<br />
Skeletons out of the closet<br />
Forgive and never forget<br />
<br />
Trust lost<br />
Trust gained<br />
Decisions and enough with issues already!<br />
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-10968830376366116012017-10-31T01:50:00.003-07:002017-10-31T01:50:56.414-07:00Waiting For Romeo~<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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One of the most famous lines that struck me today was
from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II where Juliet is
bidding goodnight to Romeo. She says:<br />
<br />
<em>"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,</em><i><br />
<em>That I shall say good night till it be morrow..."</em></i><br />
<br />
In the real world, Juliet found herself saying goodbye and not
knowing when she will see her Romeo again. Even though his depart was a sweet
sorrow, she was clueless when her morrow might be. She was afraid her morrow
will never come again. Oh how she desperately wanted to see Romeo again but she
knew it was not possible for a long time. Romeo was gone afar and
this time she couldn't really stop him from leaving.<br />
<br />
Juliet knew deep down in her heart why he left and she let him go slowly
knowing he would return to her one fine day. She felt heavy hearted and
something inside her was missing when he left. He was always what kept her
heart beating anxiously and waiting for news of his arrival is all what
she was anticipating for.<br />
<br />
This time she knew it was true. She didn't mind this time seriously! Somehow
she wanted to be this person always and maybe this was who she was all this
while. She was stronger and made more difference around her and he was always
supportive of her efforts. He had a big heart as well and somehow that's what
made him beautiful too. Maybe that's why she and him were both
beautiful souls waiting like the stars to collide.<br />
<br />
Days soon turned into weeks, she was searching for all the memories she
could hold on to. Romeo was far away, unreachable by anyone besides his own
kind. Juliet was dealing with her own issues in the mean time. She has a lot of
house keeping to do and that stressed her every single day waiting, hoping
and praying! She wanted to start right this time on a clean slate and she
knew it was the best way to start her new life but she had to wait...<br />
<br />
If only she had the support from her parents.. She was sorry she fell in
love when she wasn't suppose to. She was someone better when she was with him
and she knew he was better with her as well. Romeo and Juliet confessed of
their love and both of them knew that in the beginning it was merely
passion that soon turned into love but later on he realized that he
needed her in his life just as much as she would be the one who could
bring him happiness.<br />
<br />
Everything she needed was in front of her and she knew that she was going to
be alright if she believed in her self a bit more but she couldn't ignore the
signs that she was getting. The feeling all seemed a different purpose that she
didn't want to admit.<br />
<br />
Juliet waited a few more days in pain but alas she was relieved to know
that she was alright. The pain was suddenly gone and then she began to promise herself that she would never ever go back towards the path she once took that went off-road as the lights were unclear and there was another paved road at the junction. Juliet found herself through this experience and saved herself from herself.<br />
<br />
She continues to wait...<br />
Wait for herself<br />
Wait for her Romeo... <br />
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Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-47796218152569255892017-09-17T23:29:00.003-07:002017-09-17T23:29:45.409-07:00This Hurt<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Like smoke rising from the wet tiles<br />
It slowly began to hit me<br />
with arms wide open<br />
I screamed on the top of my lungs<br />
"It is what it is, It was what it was and It will be what it will be,<br />
So come what may..."<br />
<br />
I sat down in the middle of a half empty room<br />
packed boxes and an empty cupboard<br />
faded smell of the fragrances <br />
tears swelled and I couldn't control<br />
<br />
The heart sometimes deceives you<br />
leads you on a whole different journey<br />
we are all dealing with our very own demons<br />
But morning will always come.<br />
<br />
I've laid down my heart<br />
Initially Loved you more than Love could have ever known<br />
I wasn't expecting to turn my heart around<br />
Now I'm dizzy and I cant see straight <br />
Even my heart has gone cold...<br />
<br />
The road to redemption isn't far<br />
The road to recovery is near<br />
I am definitely stronger than I seem<br />
and this hole in my heart will be... <br />
<br />
Will be... but a memory...</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-57294967710354004482017-09-08T01:43:00.003-07:002017-09-08T01:43:48.457-07:00Ocean of Tears<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Heartache after Heartache<br />
Sleepless nights<br />
I am now numb...<br />
<br />
Constantly consumed in lies<br />
reached to the brim<br />
forgive but don't forget!<br />
<br />
I can be stupid!<br />
I can sometimes be over foolish too!<br />
I wont allow anyone to get close now...<br />
<br />
You made me build walls where there were none<br />
You meant everything to me<br />
But now you're gone...<br />
<br />
I cry less each time I get hurt<br />
The pain is only temporary<br />
and I continue to love you less...<br />
<br />
You have watched me drown<br />
In my ocean of tears<br />
beneath the lies you placed...<br />
<br />
You were everything I needed<br />
But now no more...<br />
<br />
I need to protect myself now<br />
Love myself<br />
Make me a priority!<br />
<br />
I will miss you<br />
But this hurt will be gone<br />
and I will move on...<br />
<br />
erase the scars with the strength<br />
I will find to face~</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-81146074017374847192017-09-04T21:41:00.000-07:002017-09-04T21:41:19.610-07:00Beats fast<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I was just reminded a few days ago that:<br />
<i>"It's always darkest before the dawn"</i><br />
And I really thought my dawn was breaking<br />
Until it got even darker.<br />
<br />
A flip-side to my pleas to the universe...<br />
<br />
The ricochets of a broken pieces<br />
splatter of blood everywhere<br />
only this time...<br />
<i>It's my blood!</i><br />
<br />
When certain things hurt<br />
<i>It hurts so bad,</i><br />
You saw the proof in the way it hurts<br />
BUT it was all a game!<br />
I'm numb...<br />
<br />
The worst in me probably brings out the worse in you<br />
but the best in me wants to trust you again<br />
<i>If only I was enough for you</i>!<br />
<br />
I don't react the way you always expect<br />
I am stubborn sometimes too<br />
<i>I saw stars in you</i><br />
It knocked me down instead...<br />
<br />
<i>You thought I was just passing through</i><br />
for this heart break and misery?<br />
But I still know I am not the only one...<br />
<br />
Before I throw it all away<br />
and say all these stupid things<br />
<i>Don't let me let you go</i><br />
Even though I know this might be the right thing to do...</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-19977264491942752202017-08-28T21:39:00.003-07:002017-08-28T21:44:00.681-07:00Broken Doll<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr">
Men don't realize when a woman loves them wholeheartedly it's real and true...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I met a man Who was afraid to love<br />
He was just another soul I had the chance to touch<br />
His heart was constantly guarded <br />
He built walls around his heart <br />
He was definitely afraid to love...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
He said he had his heart broken many times<br />
But little did he realize that<br />
Every time it broke apart<br />
A bit of him was also leaving himself...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
So when he had found himself after the brokenness<br />
He decided to touch many hearts <br />
But this time it was just touch and go<br />
So he wouldn't feel anything...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I happened to touch the magic dust upon arrival <br />
And it gave me pleasure which turned to hurt as days went by<br />
There was no cure in itself <br />
As the only remedy was to repel the magic...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I couldn't understand why he touched me<br />
Or why he reached out to me first?<br />
Initially he thought I'd be like the rest<br />
Easily giving into the magic tricks<br />
Much later into the season did he realize that I wasn't like the rest...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Was it too late by then to show his sincerity?<br />
Feelings of doubt and trust questioned me every single day,<br />
All in all my love was simple and pure</div>
<div dir="ltr">
The confessions of an honest love<br />
With big plans made for two<br />
Only to later find out:<br />
Feelings are as easily washed away into the vast blue ocean<br />
As it is to be washed ashore like the smallest particle of sand... </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
What has my life come to anymore?<br />
Why do I let these things bother me?<br />
When do I say it's enough?<br />
Who is responsible but myself for these feelings?<br />
How can I make it disappear before I can't do it anymore?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Questions that have no answers... </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Forever unanswered... </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Live and Let Go!!! </div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-64211514410478634492017-08-27T23:38:00.000-07:002017-08-27T23:44:11.010-07:00Now what?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
How often do we feel feelings that we have no explanations for?<br />
Thoughts running wild in my head<br />
Sometimes I can't even get a peaceful sleep at night…<br />
<br />
There are so many places I just want to drift away<br />
I even thought of running away from these tiny hiccups<br />
And the regular faces…<br />
<br />
But I chose to be stronger and face this chaos<br />
Stand up for what I believe in<br />
Even if it meant I’d lose a few people…<br />
<br />
I long to take risks and go on adventures<br />
No regrets, only a meaningful life to live<br />
Serve with humility and carry forth the compassion…<br />
<br />
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Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-69937965188624988412017-07-04T22:04:00.001-07:002017-07-13T20:05:08.333-07:00Love without Borders~<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr">
Why does this somehow feel like a melancholic ending to an unfinished story?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Everytime we exchanged glances you had my heart skip a beat... </div>
<div dir="ltr">
I was so happy in this moment knowing I was yours...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I knew you for you but there was something inside telling me that this moment wasn't going to be ours forever...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I wanted to cry, </div><div dir="ltr">I cried,</div>
<div dir="ltr">All of my feelings inside twisted but somehow I was silenced with no words to share out loud</div><div dir="ltr">The thoughts and words all choked up...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I convinced myself that I would try to be happy</div><div dir="ltr">That I would try to live in the moment keeping myself busy with life </div><div dir="ltr">But it seems that no matter even if I try or don't try</div><div dir="ltr">It hurts each and everytime abit more...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I loved genuinely from the depth of my heart and whether the love was reciprocated equally</div><div dir="ltr">I was always confused..</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I threw in some hints of what I knew to be true and I was shown the same as well</div>
<div dir="ltr">I wanted to believe everything in front of my eyes<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">But was I so blinded by selfishness?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I loved too much to even let anything matter...</div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-34384977300852941572017-05-11T02:44:00.001-07:002017-05-12T01:34:01.774-07:00Heavy Heart <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr">
Often my self control is taken over by my soft hearted-ness<br />
My will power overshadowed by a stronger will<br />
That leads me to take unexpected detours <br />
This kind heart knows sympathy</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I don't listen to my brain most of the time<br />
Nor do I follow my heart<br />
I am spontaneous <br />
And I am still learning and I let doubt fade these decisions and cloud my judgement...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
But I repent on the errs I make<br />
And I learn to forgive myself :<br />
Forgive myself time and again <br />
Because at the end of the day this is what makes it okay!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I cry silently and I apologize and even ask to be erased from his life<br />
But his compassionate heart forgives me instantly<br />
Even though harsh words are exchanged<br />
And he must probably be scarred for a long time now<br />
With trust issues upon my issues...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We have our first argument due to this foolish stubborn heart <br />
I should have just listened in the first place<br />
My honesty got me in trouble <br />
And all he was being was an extra caring soul<br />
I cast a dark cloud of doubt over his instincts <br />
Whether he liked to believe me or not...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
We had promised unconditional love in the beginning<br />
Whether I fall apart or falter in such circumstances <br />
We were going to keep holding on because<br />
He chose me and I chose him</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br />
Obstacles along the way <br />
And there will be envy, jealousy, malice and hatred<br />
But in the end "Love will conquer all..."</div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-36696269787864692422017-04-25T22:13:00.000-07:002017-04-25T22:13:32.916-07:00Every Time a bit more<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div dir="ltr">
Dragon flies fluttering around in chaos<br />
As the rain drops started to pour heavy<br />
The tiny white flowers fell like a blanket of snow<br />
Covering the cemented pavement <br />
Illuminating this path even clearer...</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I know this isn't my Happy Ending<br />
I know this isn't my Cinderella Story<br />
I know this isn't my Safe Haven either <br />
But I know that this can be my Happiness<br />
A feeling newly created <br />
At least while living in the now I know!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Can people change?<br />
Whether it's for themselves or for the people they love?<br />
We stopped being ourselves more than a year ago<br />
There was no signs of growth<br />
<br />
Somethings you just can't fake<br />
like the feelings we get<br />
While we watch our days turn into weeks and months<br />
and soon it's been a year already<br />
Then even goodbyes doesn't seem so sad after all...<br />
<br />
There will be a place for everything<br />
and that includes finding the right kinda feelings too<br />
Not everyone will be there to support<br />
but nothing seems surprise me anymore...</div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7642371896480961691.post-53016013856301287542017-03-23T22:48:00.004-07:002017-04-30T21:00:22.066-07:00The Hero<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Its been a while for me without a muse to write<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">On a high scraper reflecting all of my fears and anxieties<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I took a leap of faith and jumped on a new platform<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I wore my heart on my sleeve and there you recognized me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">As confident as confidence came<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">A star flew right across the sky and I couldn't ignore the signs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">A hero in a regular suit with such dark prominent mesmerizing eyes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Came with a purpose to touch my heart and light up the dark skies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Days go by so quickly and things happen too fast <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">We don't have the strength within us to hold on <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">These moments even if we could be the only ones to know</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">we cannot choose the path for us right now<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">You taught me:</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Life is how we make of the moments presented to us</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">We either treasure them or let it pass before our eyes</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Most of us spend our whole lives searching and reasoning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">instead of living in the now and making memories<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">We may never know what tomorrow brings</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">Whether we will live another day to tell tales of yesterday</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">So we live through today choosing the right kind of people</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">Trusting the choices we make without being afraid </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">The Hero came at a certain time and lives within me now</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 18px;">Pulled me away from the chaos of the heart </span><span style="font-size: 18px;">and calmed the rough ocean shores</span><span style="font-size: 18px;">...</span></div>
</div>
Namzay Kumuthahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09491151551343944208noreply@blogger.com2