"I've let my walls fall down, the enemies have finally invaded... Should I surrender or die by my sword with honor like a Japanese samurai??..."
It seems like i have felt this before with the feelings that are taking over much stronger than anticipated... Normally called De-ja vu but I am not even sure what is normal anymore..??
----(thoughts at 4 am)
We, our minds, body and spirit are so occupied by trying to do the right things in life that we often neglect trying to enjoy doing things that we genuinely love... And only in moments of despair when we hear of someone that has either passed away or has only a few years of life to live, then we start to question our very own existence. Reality is what would you do if you knew you had just a few more months or years to live?
I thought about this question for a good long duration and it is definitely difficult to see things with a clear perspective to understand what would be important and what would matter if i were to be faced with death in a short time... Even though life is still pretty much unpredictable, i wonder if anything else besides Family, Love, Friendship would matter?...Like Work? House? Car? Money? Technology? would these matter as well...definitely say yes but to think about it deeply... would it really matter that you missed work one day or wore the wrong shoes? or had no computer to check emails??
To me, it would be the people i love that would matter the most. This would be a really great time to analyze who would make it to the inner circle and to carefully think who would actually be there for you when it all comes down in the end... Most days we don't make time to spend with others, go to meetings or attend birthdays, dinners but rather choose that time to shut ourselves out of the world somehow... Reflecting back was it worth missing it all?
Think about when was the last time you told people that mattered how much they meant to you or how much you love them? if you haven't, why wait for another moment that may never come but start right here, right now how much it matters to have them in your life. It's never too late to do the things you want to do, make a schedule, to do lists and as you go on living day to day check those list out one by one (something like a bucket list). Spend time with those you wish to be around with, eat what you wish to eat, make music, exercise and hit the gym if you like, make a short documentary, take pictures, attend birthday's, travel around the world to places you always wanted to go, listen to granny's stories, cuddle your lover in bed before sleeping, start a foundation, appreciate nature and the beauty of the world and overall take time to enjoy the little pleasures life has to offer...because life is short and when death comes, it doesn't think twice...
Don't worry about the small things, just do what matters to you the most and do it NOW.
Your life is a gift that many people wish to have so cherish it, make a difference and enjoy now to the fullest.