Truth

A lesson I will never learn!!!

Black Hole

This sudden black hole
A strange feeling
Of far across the world

The faint voice does not cry
A heart that is heartless
But once cared a bit too much

Gloomy skies
Buildings after another
Small tunnels and horses

Alone but not lonely
A city that does not sleep
But the language of love it speaks...

You and Me...

I once met a wonderful man
on a cold night in February
a perfect gentleman
and we instantly hit it off
Then soon enough we started to fall in love

From that day until now
We've been in love
and he was all I could think of...

9 months later we got married
one of the days I forever will cherish
Since then every day is happiness...

My hero, my kryptonite
A true diamond in my sky!












Thank You for giving my life and true meaning and bringing out the sunshine.
You've accepting me for who I am with all my flaws and made me a better person with time.

My outlook on life has changed.
and I am lucky to have you to love everyday...

Reason

A sad soul is always up past midnight.

I think it is a miserable feeling in the world trying to sleep when you've got a million things running in your head and you tell your mind to stop and even your heart tells you to do so because it has seen and knows you better than you think. I may never understand why I would never be the best when I thought I was most important . It's true what they say "We accept the love we think we deserve" and no matter how far we try to drift away from this truth, the fear of neglect is far greater. Greater than the feeling of the unknown or even drowning, rape, betrayal or murder. I have started to differentiate between alone and loneliness. The heart has its own reasons that even reason does not know.

What would it take to be wrapped up in his arms?
I cannot understand nor can I be empathetic
But I try hard to feel this glimmer of hope waiting to be ignited.

There is no light burning brightly at the end of the tunnel nor is there a wickering flame from a candle nearby. Sometimes we expect more from others, because we would be willing to do the same for them. There will be a time when we must choose between what is easy and what is right as what comes easy won't last and what lasts won't come easy. And sometimes you realize that the only mistake you make is in caring too much.

I am only human.
I bleed when I am wounded
I ache when I am hurt
I crash and then breakdown.

So whatever I decide to do I am going to make sure it makes me happy for everyone I meet is fighting a battle and I know nothing about it so I chose to be kind always. Often people think that being alone makes one lonely but I've realized that it is not true. Most times, being surrounded by wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.

There are two types of people in this world:
(1) Those who say "I will believe it when i see it:" and
(2) Those who say "To see if, I know i must believe it"

So as  i try to drift back to sleep past midnight, it is said that those who don't sleep confuse reality with dream... Who are you?

Tattoos and Inks

So, this is what my next tattoo is going to be or at least what i am hoping along with some roman numerals which has the wedding date or something very significant...

My first tattoo was in April 2012 when I was still in Vancouver. I went with my friend Cameron who was braver than I thought (ha-ha) to this place called "Adrenaline" on Granville street. This place has quite the reputation for good artists and the sketches :) So I took my chance and got a tattoo that reads "MITAGPA" which is the Buddhist Doctrine of Impermanence and he did a pretty good job I reckon. 

Not too sure where I am going to get my next one but right now i'm thinking on the inner arm area which is going to hurt I know from all the reads online and according to the tattoo pain guide but I think it is going to be worth it after I get it. I just have to contemplate carefully just like I did on the earlier one.

As Thich Nhat Hanh beautifully put it "You are like a candle. Imagine you are sending light out all around you. All your words, thoughts and actions are going in many directions. If you say something kind, your kind words go in many directions, and you yourself go with them. We are ...transforming and continuing in a different form at every moment..."

The Burning Candle

Some live the life which most people dream about. The lap of luxury, where everything goes right and there is neither trouble nor worry. But some live life so painfully as another day comes forth, another new fight and the struggle continues. Each day these people live towards this struggle and keep their hope hanging so that one day this would all be a dream rather than the harsh reality staring straight at their faces. They hear the screams of salvation calling from the heart with an open hand with day after day desolation but still there is no hope left for those who believe!!

There is a road which leads into these circumstances and down this road there are thousands of dreams awaiting and only opportunity can knock on the door. And this road is the one where the beggars and the choosers find their so called destiny from which they are saved in the light of faith for everyone to see.  This is when time passes by quick in the glimpse of a second and what’s left behind are the days of eternity where nothing else is left behind not even old souvenirs. For them the old statues stand still where it use to be and all one sees are the bleeding scars of humility, and hear the screams of salvation from this life calling from the heart.

It has been a long time ever since I saw such painful cries and the redemption of these people. This brings me back to the days I knew long before it even existed. The days which left me behind and went forth but now its over and it is time to vision things from a different light. Flashbacks of yesterday and faces of tomorrow still haunt me time to time and out of this desire I traveled miles high and low in search for what I have seen the world through these small eyes. For every living day I know it takes more energy out of me each time to see such suffering and discomfort to people in this world. As the candle burns I’ve learned one thing so far in my life to live your life but say a prayer for all that you’ve got and be grateful.

 And as the candle keeps burning pray for those who are less fortunate than how you have been with trust and honesty like you really meant it. Just follow your heart and swear by the ones that you love for it is a life for the taking that surrounds you which are full of liars and thieves. But it’s the truth that pulls you back to reality and through all the years and the painful tears; it’s been a mountain that I must climb. And for every living day it’s clear, I’ve turned a page in time. To live your life and say a prayer for all that you’ve got and be grateful for those.

-May 2007

Starry Night

Like Diamonds in the dark sky
A starry starry night
Shinning bright taking position
I stood in awe as I gazed upward...

They spoke to me in a language I somehow seemed to understand
At least for that very moment
Blinking endlessly trying to communicate..

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are...?
A burning sun? A planet or a speck of light
I can't tell just yet

You question my grounded beliefs
You even doubt my existence
Tonight I wish upon you
For infinite love and trust
So that I may start to believe again...