Often I find myself writing great poems when I have sipped on some alcohol... :) Doesn't usually happen all the time but once in a blue moon I strike the emotional side of me and words keep flowing... when it happens I usually write because I have either found my muse or my thoughts are left wandering through the dead of the night.

Lonestar

Days like today
I think of what could have been
Loneliness seems to strike
And it's always you in the end
Unable to be together I wait...
Wondering if it's the best decision?
Wondering what if I never pull through?     
I've got no steady anchor
But I definitely got some soul
Meaningless and broken
Part of me is breathing
And half of me is left.
                                       
Why am I still searching?     
For answers when there are none.
Never thought it would feel so free
Now I know what's meant to be
And that's okay with me...

12.12.12

One of those nights yet again
Sleepless and tired in bed
And am left to wander
What it means to be haunted in ones dreams

The sudden feeling of realization
Or the slowly moving backward clock that refuses to tell time.
An uneasy feeling overshadowed the mood
As my breath got heavier and louder.

The heat started to get unbearable
But a picture was the perfect representation
of hungry and loneliness that that remained...

As light as the feather in between the leaves
they dried along cohesively with the season
Was it early this year?
Old memories that are overdue and expired
Need to be off the shelves in every store

Letting Go

As I separated one white balloon from the rest of the bunch

I held it close to my bosom,

I thought of the last few months 

and how life flipped suddenly topsy-turvy .

I took within all that I had into that Balloon 

my feelings and emotions...

Reasons that even the heart is not familiar with,

Feelings that shattered the tainted windows,

and emotions that were beyond my control. 

As I held it close

I realized that it must go up high into the air

Like the little kids trying to get theirs  to rise

except here their innocence is untainted 

so their un-carved block remains safe.

With much strength and a brave face

I let the balloon up into the air

and let the winds of change decide its fate...

Unexpected Encounter

This morning I awoke,
You brightened my day
You made me forget everything
As i was soon lost in your gaze
"Looking Good", I thought to myself...

You close your eyes and kiss me gently
But wait that was just a dream
Or what I wanted to believe at least
I lay there pondering
How had he noticed me?
In a rather crowded place...

It was a slightly longer hug
not wanting to let go and yearning some more
We said our goodbyes and rushed off in opposite directions

On a familiar road he embarked
Like a hero leading 17 troops
Fighting dusty roads staying calm
Fighting to get to the other side.
All this while thinking of his lady
To gain strength to continue
Into a territory strange to him

All he had of hers to remind him was a strand of hair
that fell on his shirt when they embraced for goodbye.

She was one step ahead in certainty
and one step behind in uncertainty
she longed to see him again
maybe day after as he said

He always made her feel the happiest
Especially when the sun didn't seem to shine...

Winter

Even the saddest songs do not make me sad anymore,
Each time it hurts it gets easier
To raise my head and look forward.

Like a puppet on a string I was played
Naively dancing along to those awful tunes
But little did I realize the purpose behind a gift so evil
That it even made the puppet master himself go blind...

Blind to his True Emotions!
Blind to his True Feelings!
Blind to his True Self!

The heart is fragile yet strong
It tends to forgive easily
Even though it never forgets...

I wonder how you are.
Do you still think of me....?
Does time really move forward as they say?

The autumn leaves fell on the ground
earlier than anticipated
The fruit of the loom was unripe this time
Soon with winter life paced slow...

I'm cold but my warm heart continues to glow
a burning light within me
They all knew it would die one day
Only I was stupid enough to hold onto HOPE...

Dark Glaciers

Unable to think of what to expect
I left this melancholic sadness
Doubting of all my actions
Clearing of all my doubts
And cleansing the mind

I waited and waited
Nothing and no one showed up
Was this all I am destined for?
Is this all I am meant to be?
I've stopped believing in fate.

C'est La Vie!
Life is getting complicated
The need to love thyself first
As feelings are hard to come by easily
And only you bring me comfort

What is this if its just attachment?
What is this if it's only jealousy?
What is this if it's too insecure?
What is this if it's just love?
Something definitely not enough...