Prayer Wheels

The wheels keep turning to the chants of Om Mane Padme Hum....

Dear Dad...

Even though for the past 2 decades (20 years) of my life, we haven't had the best relationship because of the history and the past but i Just wanted to wish you a father's day today particularly for giving me, ashim and acho a life on earth (sounds clliche) but i'm grateful to have been born and experienced everything that i have for the past 23 years. With and without you,all three of us have learnt to grow up to be stronger individuals, growing mentally and emotionally while at the same time maintaining our roots and being grounded.

A wise man once said that the two greatest gifts that parents can give to their children are 'roots' and 'wings' so i'm grateful for that knowing that i have the wings and independence to explore and venture out on my own... It has really defined me who i am and i shall use these wings wisely...

I know now that you have your own family with a beautiful loving wife and 3 great children and i wish you all the happiness so please take care of them and don't let them go through without having a father as we did because i've realized that as a children growing up with a father s matters alot in the childs development especially when the traditional norm of a family is a mother and a father included. I know i was only 4 along with ashim and acho who was 6 so it wasn't too bad for me honestly as that became the norm (having a single parent) but your children are much older than that now and i know you have no intentions but do remember that it's the children that are affected more than anyone else by your actions :)

But all in all i'm glad we have all reconnected and put the past behind after all these years.. Happy Father's day and here's to a many more <3

Much love from your daughter,

Namzay

Travel Log #1

Watched this documentary called 'the betrayal' about how the people of Laos served helped americans and how the americans just left them abandoned to be killed by their own people and then i watched limitless...

Slept for a long time, sore butt, window seat 24k, turbulent weather but all is all kudos to air Canada! My first time flying and it was a great experience!

It's raining here in Shang hai at he moment and I'm still in the plane right now :) it's 2:51 and my next flight is at 5:25 so I got about 2 hrs to collect my luggage and check into Thai international for Bangkok :) yay! My butt hurts though haha.. It's funny how've steward thought thT the man sittig next to me was my 'partner' or more like I was his wife or something hahaha and another funny incident is that while in Vancouver airport after Glenn dropped me off I quickly went to grab some snack if I'm hungry And this man asks me if I am going on vacation and I say 'yes', he goes oh all by yourself? Made it sound so depressing and I quickly rephrased it saying I'm going back home for the holidays :) haha imagine going all alone for a vacation!! That would really be sad!!

Well it's been 30 mins and more sitting here waiting to dis-embark as there has been some airport traffic supposedly and I have my transit connecting flight at 5:25 so I'm a bit worried now!! I have no idea which terminal I am on or anything! Sigh! And on top of that I've been told that I've to collect my luggage and check in again! Crazy crazy..

Well finally exited the plane in Shang hai after an hour of waiting due to traffic control, there was no one at the gate to help so I took matters into my own hands and we all had to go through immigration before baggage pick up and the lines were getting longer and time was definitely of the essence! It was already past 4:30 and I still hadn't picked up my luggage or checked in at Thai airways nor knew which terminal I was suppose to be at so asking around I was to go one floor up for international departures and when I got there luckily it was the right terminal which had Thai airways!  Was told to proceed to counter at C but when I got there there was no one except a man who usually works to Attach tags on the luggage I assumed and was cleaning up! I panicked and told him air Canada was delayed and that I had to get on the flight! He knew no English and was helpless!! Emotions suddenly burst and tears welled up my eyes and I saw an airport man and he yelled out to him to ask him to help! I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it or if they would even give me a ticket! But he did end up giving me a ticket after corresponding several time Back And forth with someone behind the walkie talkie.. I was still tearing but glad so once I got my ticket I ran to check in. Luckily they were about to board the plane so made it safe!!
Once in the plane, I was given 51D and to my surprise there wS already some one sitting so they kept me waiting for a Bit and then just when I was hoping they'd maybe upgrade me as the plane looked full they ask an old man to move and I took his seat !! Due to air traffic jam we were delayed yet again and sitting in the Plane for About 3 hrs! I slept and woke up to loud chattering and only to find out that the plane had not even Moved an inch and it was already 8:30pm in Shanghai...

I was only worried that my brother would be waiting yet again like last year for several hours at the airport in Bangkok!! But soon we took off and we were up in the air. Landed in Bangkok at 12 midnight and my smart brother checked the flight tracker and got the delay message. Thank goodness for technology :)

Ahoy! They Sail~

UrbanToes

A Tall Ship out on the waters of Vancouver

A Sunny Sunday

The Inevitable Change

I find it rather strange and funny how often people enter my life and slowly they start to fade away just as as they begin to leave slight footprints...and yet again with time the footprints slowly fade away into vague memories only left behind to either cherish or store in a place where it is unreachable with time.

"No matter who you are, No matter where you go in life, at some point you gonna need somebody to stand by you... No matter how much money you got, all the friends you got, you gonna need somebody to stand by you..."


These are the words sung in collaboration by street artists on the streets of California, Louisiana, Brazil, Russia, Netherlands,Venezuela, South Africa, Italy all making music for a change they believe to be possible by bringing awareness of issues through music... It's hard to find friends who are more than just fair weathered these days if you have the tendency to move around much in your life.

I left for India first to St.Helens Convent in Kurseong, Darjeeling in Grade 5 and stayed there till 8 before moving to Kodaikanal in Tamil Nadu, India for another 5 years starting grade 8 due to the terms that started in different months. I found  friends and people there who started to know me more than my own family besides my sister as we would spend everyday with one another so it was comforting and we started to grow together. Then i moved to Canada for University and here i learnt how hard it was to make exceptionally close friends who knew you in and out like high school. I guess in a way its a learning environment where independent behaviour and Critical thinking are challenged and one has to learn to blend in...

Leopards never change their spots, as my mother use to keep telling me. I've come to understand this phrase very much now and with experience it stands out even bolder now with clarity. With every individual i come across and get to know them better, they tend to fall under this category of not being able to change 'let's say for the worse'. I've always believed firmly that no matter what the situation, we humans can never change especially as adults as our thoughts, beliefs, opinions tend to mature and mould us into the character and personality we take upon today.
I've always thought change was temporary BUT now i believe that Change is definitely inevitable!

The Pink Sky...

I woke...dreaming we had broke, dreaming you left me for someone new and you cried, drying those brown eyes, crying you're sorry...But sorry won't do!
But this is the way I need to wake, i'll wake to you and you never left me, all that i dreamt had been untrue... Open my eyes, I see Sky~

The Pledge~

In this world there are many different types of people. In all that mix, there are some who love to travel all around the world in search of themselves. But soon reality checks in for them and they realize that the only steps that they ever really needed to take were the ones from our head to our heart: the shortest step into realization indeed!! While on the other hand there are some of those who search for themselves without even having to take a step outside their homes. 

We don't have to go anywhere to find out who we really are but rather just light the spark within ourselves into realizing that...I know so many people including myself who have searched for ourselves and questioned "what does it mean to be you..?" and often found searching in a different direction. But the past year, i've come to realize that i didn't need to go anywhere to know who i was or ask who i was as the answer was right there in front of my eyes.
It came down to: It was 'ME' who could know exactly who i was, what i was feeling or what i wanted...No one else could have made those decisions for me. I know i've been indecisive my entire life, swaying in any direction due to my weakness in not being able to say NO to anything but rather helping out every single one that came by. And then people started taking advantage of me, and that's when i decided that a prominent line must be drawn and i should know when enough was enough!!So i did and went after what made me happy, what i enjoyed doing and what i felt like eating instead of being suggested all the time to do this/that or even told what to do next. Just as you think you could get use to this lifestyle, one must realize that this is not the right way even though one may feel the situation to be normalized but i've experienced this and it's everything but normal. 

So today i pledge to be more than the average individual and not to get  (angry/scared/depressed/anxious/worried/insecure/jealous/scared) but rather be happy and take a moment every single day to pause and appreciate life... and for being able to breathe with the blessings of life that most people tend to take for granted!

Felix Riaga Odera, R.I.P (1987-2011)

"On Sunday evening of 29th-May-2011, Felix Riaga fell off a dock and drowned in lake Kawkawa in the Municipality of Hope, British Columbia, Canada......"

These words stand out bold and meaningful right before my teary eyes.
Unable to understand or grasp what actually happened, i'm taken back in shock with a bunch of open ended questions mostly beginning with "Why"?! hoping to be heard but silently knowing that  i'll never have the answers..

This  mattered to me more than just another piece of drowning news i see on tv  because i knew Felix personally more than just an individual that studied here at UBC. Felix was one of the cheerful people i came across while here in UBC. I met him in my first year and ever since then we've been friends and in my final year i saw much more of him because we both lived off campus and we would take either Bus #41, 480 or 49 to get home as he lived 5 minutes away from me. I saw him much more and our conversations were always the happiest talking about life in general, how he was going home soon, about his soccer games, training, and his classes and work...I clearly remember him telling me how he was studying South East Asian Politics and how he was proud to know me from Bhutan as they had just discussed it in class...

Hearing this news two days ago at the Library, i was in complete dis belief and i still am at this moment thinking "this can't be true"...Why him of all the people, he was going for a religious camp on top of that and they say he drowned with 5-6 people around him? i still can't seem to connect the dots of what and where it went wrong!! 
well the most sad part is that the news his family would have to bear as they haven't seen him since he came here to UBC and he was planning on visiting them either this summer or end of this year... someone put on this facebook page "R.I.P you are home now"...and that touched me!

I know you are no longer here with us Felix, but i hope wherever you are at this moment you realize what a difference you have made to all the lives you have touched in your own little or big ways...You have paved way for those who would like to see themselves as a potential in achieving something greater in life by being their example as you say "anything is possible"...

The gentleness of your soul, the constant optimism felt, the humane personality, the role model you set out as, the strength you found in religion and the inspiration you turned out to be...

You will never be forgotten in our hearts!!!Rest In Peace~