Once Bitten Twice Shy

I've had people stab me in the back
I've had people take advantage of my kindness
I've had people slap me in the face
I've had people call me all sorts of derogatory names
I've had people use me only to get what they want
I've had people ruin my reputation to clear theirs...

Never had someone head over heels for me
Never had someone confess their love for me
Never had someone call me their one true Love
Never had someone wanting to wait on me forever
Never had someone write me a suicide note
Never had someone wanting to die for me...

The Kindness in the Heart reflected in the eyes
They say that the eyes speak of the truest feelings
And I saw the Kindness in those eyes!

What is this?

How can I live knowing that I’ve ruined a life?
Life is not a compensation,
Neither a game to gamble upon it
Life is meant to be lived only once,
Precious as it is pursuing dreams and goals…

I don’t know how I can ever forgive and forget
knowing that  someone’s life is messed up because of me.
They say time heals everything,
 But really does it?

After two failed marriages and a baby
What did I learn?

Self-Respect?
Self-Worth?
Self-Love?
Self-Understanding?

At this point of my life,
I’ve come to care less of who thinks what of me
And focus more on being a better version of myself
To correct the way forward
To learn to forgive to live and let go…

My Blue Heart💙

So sudden the waves come riding
Leaving behind a speck every single tide
If I collected all the specks it left behind
would it be enough to hold and feel everything I want to feel...?

The teachings of my soul
Little rusty but still intact
It hovers at the call of my name
It wants to seek at every void that cannot be filled...

This strange pull of love
Drawing in strategically silent
That low vibration of fear
High intensity of passion I seek...

My heart is my place of worship
I intend to seek refuge here
Knowing my endless faults and accepting the consequences
I took this silent leap of faith again...

With no hope we meet in our dreams
Where reality is blurred by what seems fiction
The blue sunshine outweighs the grey clouds
And it all started because she smiled... 

May we Be

Why cant we individuals be HAPPY?
We are always trying to live and be in the moment
that we forget everything else around us.
We become ignorant to the fact that even simple loving is pain.

Someday when we lose everything and everyone we ever cared about
That will be the day we regret the decisions we take now
Not even death can alert us
As it will only be a memory that's soon forgotten...

We lose the genuineness
And get consumed by what is trending,
An honest gesture of pure love
But only to be questioned a thousand times and over.....

Where did it all go wrong?
Are we blinded by what we do not see and only hear?
Kindness and Compassion simply for humanity
With empathy that drives our soul in directions...

May we be the generation that reflects
May we be the generation of do-ers
May we be the generation of self lovers
May we be the generation of givers and
May we be the generation that brings forth change!

Its too early to lose faith in humanity...

16.08.19

Love Conquers All

You gave me meaning
I don't always have the right words to say
All this searching and you're the best thing that I've found
I know you're here to stay...

You let me say all the stupid things I say
I know I make mistakes and Let you down
You stretched out your arms and held me tight
Loved me more than I ever knew...

We may not be perfect and trust me no one is
We may get jealous and insecure
We may bleed love more than we know
But we are both here to stay now...

We learn from our mistakes
We may fall many times but we always try
"Love conquers all"
And we know to pick ourselves up every time...

The Mysterious Heart

I count the ways you let you down 

and I'm losing track on the numbers now 

Your clever words can't help you anymore

I am lost and disgusted
I tried to keep you close but you're slipping out...

 

When did the Rain suddenly become a Storm? 

Even you can't stand whats happening with us

We could have had it all

but the blame was always on me

and we strayed off course...

 
Holding back won't turn back time
Believe me, I've tried

even if I could turn back time, 

You'd still be the same

with your secrets and lies

running like a dog 

making me fight like a bitch too much...

 

You never believed in me and we fell apart

Soon you'll just be somebody that I use to know  

I was so happy after so long

I should have known it was all momentary

Our ship's gone down too soon

So I drowned myself before it could drown me...

 
They say it's always darkest before the light
And that's enough for me to try

I know I loved you

And I still do but now it's whatever you want

Your freedom and Peace of Mind 

for your Happiness I will walk away...

 

Even if I say that it's over now
Even if we want to move on somehow

Even if I wanted to walk away

I know it will be without any regrets

I was never good enough for you...

 

Whoever said that love was sweet 

drank a little too much whiskey

All the fairy tales bullshit me
I wouldn't change a thing about myself
'Cause from today self love starts...

Love is Pain

I have driven this road too many times
That even the curves and the bends are familiar with me.
The same feeling each and every time;
I'm way too good at convincing myself
that each time the road will be a different one...

Taking a leap of faith and unsure
if I am following my instincts;
or just going along with my heart without using my brain,
that usually seems to be the case
or it is my anger which drives us away?...

When two people fall in love
Its always one person loving the other more,
I knew only of the abusive love I was feeling.
Instead of seeing who I was as a person
And believing in myself more
I was stuck in limbo...


I believe in Fate, I believe in Destiny
Maybe we loved deeply in another life
that we found ourselves here now,
I want to grow with the decision but
Confused how to Love...

I Trust Myself
I Trust my Path and
I Trust my Intuition.
It's You that don't Trust me
Nor the Path we set out for ourselves...
 
Maybe I felt you more than life usually allows of me,
I don't know.
Maybe I never fixed what was broken inside of me,
I don't know.
I am not perfect, neither are you!
But I know I have it inside of me to Love...